Whoa, didn't realize it has been almost two months since I last wrote a post. I think of doing it often and what I will say then just never sit and get down to it...doh. Like everything else, I tend to just put things off and then I don't have to deal with them but in doing so, let the worry of not doing it build up.
Anywho, enough of the preamble, I will get going. It has been an eventful couple of months for this family and some times were harder than other. We went to Edmonton at the end of May for our house hunting trip and found a brand new duplex in Fort Saskatchewan so went home accomplishing something. Nicest part of all that was also getting to spend some time with my sister while we were there. A couple days after we returned to Borden it was time for Charlie's surgery again.
So, in her and I go to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, go through the pre op stuff and again wait to talk to the anesthesiologist with fingers crossed. The resident listened then left to talk with his chief and so the debate started again whether they would go through with it or not due to the wheezing that was minimal but still there. Thankfully the chief deemed the surgery important because of the biopsy for hirschprungs and so they went forward. I patiently waited, nervous as all heck, with everything hitting me sitting in the waiting room but time passed and surgery was over. In I went to the post op room with another family and we walked out at the same time; them with their kid, me alone as Charlie was quite stable with her blood pressure and heart rate....let the nerves get even worse. Thankfully though, all settled and we left without any further issues.
Holy crapola, after the surgery, it was like a caged animal had been freed. Charlie recovered within a day and went from doing only an army crawl to full speed ahead, full on crawling; 100x happier than she had been and noticing now, she is pooping more regularly. Not to mention, car rides are so much nicer as she is no longer screaming in her car seat like she once did. Conclusion, we figure she was in some real pain with the hernia but didn't know any different so figured she would just make the best of life living in pain. So happy we go the surgery done. Although, my gosh, this girl is trouble. You leave the gate at the bottom of the stairs opened and she is off, climbing the stairs at breaking speed. We thought Jade was trouble, man were we wrong.
Anywho, a couple weeks after the surgery we hit Niagara Falls for one last Ontario adventure then we were off for a drive to Edmonton. Oh those packing days are so much fun; packers come in one day, truck is loaded the next and off our belongings go for their drive and off we go for ours. We were able to make a bit of a trip out of it which was nice. Driving through the states, we hit Chicago, Bloomington, Minnesota, Fargo then Minot, North Dakota before crossing the border to Saskatoon and finally our destination....Fort Saskatchewan. The drive was nice but we were definitely ready to live at a home again. The girls were good for the most part but of course when strapped in a car seat all day then having to eat out were not ideal. We survived though and spent three nights in the hotel in Fort Saskatchewan awaiting our belongings to arrive then to be unpacked.
Ironically, the weekend we move here was also the weekend Ashlee was moving back to Vancouver so my parents came out and we had some good visiting time mixed in with unpacking us and packing her up. Hardest part though was the morning my mom and sister left, Jade went downstairs then came back to our room bawling because they were gone; poor girl, too many changes at once. Leaving a best friend and neighbour she could play with anytime and just were so great together. Sadly, she has tried to invite the girl in the other half of the duplex out a few times but every time has been a no....guess a 10 yr old isn't into playing with a 4 yr old.
We have now been here for almost 3 weeks and are starting to settle in. Ted is back to work and finished clearing in there so doing "real" work now which has been a good experience he says. Jade has waaaaayyy too much energy for me despite being in a camp that was 3 hrs/d last week and a full day camp 3 days this week. She is struggling to settle in but hopefully with some structure and routine she will return to herself. Preschool for Jade is only 2 hours, 3 afternoons a week which will be a change from the 3 full days she was doing in Borden.
It's official, both girls are sleeping in their own beds for entire nights now, with only a couple hiccups. WOOOHHHOOOO!!! Not sure my body really knows what to do with a full night sleep though as it is not happening for me yet, lol
For me, change is always hard and this time is definitely no different unfortunately. The anxiety goes through the roof, stress leads to blah moods and things just are more difficult to deal with so procrastination and little patience set in. I hate when I get this way as I know I am a tough person to be around and nobody deserves my wrath or struggles. Every little things gets blown up to big worries in my head and I start feeling nauseous and don't know where to even begin. I want only the best for the girls so worry I won't get them into things, won't find child care and if I do, it won't be anything like what Jade has had before, picking a decent preschool, leaving Charlie with someone and now leaving Jade too as she has been having meltdowns; find a job myself (which I have time as I am still going to do some work in Vancouver) and with that, making a schedule work with the girls and Ted; keeping our house in good shape, getting an Alberta nursing license, supporting Ted, staying in contact with everyone....I could go on with all that is being tossed around in my head but no need, I think you all get the point. In short, I am not liking who I am these days and need a reboot or something. When all I do is worry, second guess things and get anxiety through the fucking roof, something needs to change and I am the only one that can make that happen.
Please don't get me wrong, I am happy with where we are living, it is a real family oriented community and our home is great. It is a brand new duplex and the back yard is fenced with a huge, opened field with no trees or developments on the other side (which is sure to change but we will enjoy it while we have it). They are building a new elementary school just a few houses down in the field so hopefully our area will stay opened with play areas.
Speaking of play areas, I just looked at the clock and we are off to a play mob where Jade can meet some friends and get some dinner.
Peaz out homie g's.
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