Well it has been a few months since I last posted and I apologize for that but I have been doing some procrastinating as well as had my hands full. Life has been a roller coaster ride these past few months making it pretty busy. The girls and I were got to get back to Vancouver, which, for the most part, was soooo nice. We got to see friends, spend time with family and enjoy spring like weather. Seeing my parents was an ultimate high not only for me but Jade became instantly attached again. That attachment was hard to break upon our return to Ontario but thank heavens for facetime.
In early March my mother in law passed away due to that nasty nasty disease called cancer. Thankfully she was able to see the girls when we surprised her but none the less, the passing of anyone is a hard time. The silver lining was getting to see more of Ted's family and spend some quality time with them.
Upon returning to Ontario, things have been a struggle but we are surviving and biding our time here. Jade is back in school but the transition has disrupted her routine and she has yet to sleep through the night and Charlie is attached to my hip. Ted is doing well in his program and with the great support of his instructors, he was able to keep with his class and will graduate on May 22nd. After that, some real fun will begin. We will be heading out for a house hunting trip to Edmonton to look for places to rent, return to Borden then hit the road to our new home...adios Borden!
I honestly can't wait to get out of here. Home truly is where the heart is and I wake up to mine everyday; that I wouldn't trade for anything. However, Borden just hasn't been a great overall experience. I swear the girls and I have seen the doctor or been on medication more here than I have in a lifetime, lol; nothing major but just annoying. Meeting people has been super hard with so much cliquishness but thankfully we have our neighbours and that is helping keep me sane. The weather is starting to get nicer so hopefully more time can be spent outside and that will help lift spirits and burn some toddler energy.
Charlie is a growing machine and is loving her solids. She is also glued to my hip right now and screams if I put her down or leave the room. Other than that, Charlie girl is extremely happy and following in Jade's footsteps of not liking to sleep. She loves to babble away and watch Jade or daddy be goofs. Nothing like Charlie and Jade giggling away together. Jade has been so caring for Charlie lately and making sure she has her toys or trying to soothe her when she cries. Jade still looks for Charlie girl every morning and likes to tell me that Charlie girl just needs her big big sister Jade Honey Princess Reindeer (apparently that is her name) when she is crying. Of course there are times the jealousy comes out but those are minute compared to her love of Charlie. Jade started her playball class this week and is the only girl in a class of 4 & 5 yr old boys. She had the other parents laughing as some of the boys fell throughout the class and started crying while Jade falls and lets out a booming laugh...that's my girl....like mother, like daughter, a little tom boy. Jade loves going to watch Ted play hockey and cheers him on, yelling GOOOOO DADDDY!!!! Such a proud girl. She is still completely obsessed with Cars and everything revolves around them and somehow everything is associated to them. Her other current favourite is Paw Patrol and apparently Jade is going to be Marshal, the fire dog, when she grows up.
I am trying to stay upbeat and focus on the positives of everything, especially the fact we are a family under one roof. As a wife, I am very proud; as a mom, I couldn't ask for better or happier kids; but as me, I struggle to accept myself and be happy with who I am outside of a wife and a mom. Not knowing many people here, leaves a lot of time to spend in my own head with lots of debates and questioning. Why can't I just be happy with who I am; not worry about what I eat or what I do or whether I am making a fool of myself in front of others and what they think of me? I would be completely content if all that was still present but to a far lesser extent and not keep me awake or have such an impact on my life and how I live it. I remember reading an article, which I posted on Facebook, back in February. It was about a woman who talked about when she was most happiest and it wasn't when she was the fittest but rather when she let herself enjoy life without worrying about what she ate or whether she was fit; I would give almost anything to be able to reach that point. Getting myself out the door to meet people is beyond anxiety provoking for me. Going out for Easter dinner to the neighbours brought a lot of worries and envisioning scenarios in my head prior. Ted laughed at me because we were bringing dessert and I was worried about baking anything because our neighbour likes to bake too and I didn't want to make some crappy thing. Despite all the worrying and anxiety prior to, we left there, full and happy after a fun and enjoyable evening. Despite that, I continue to have a tough time going out or talking to people in person or on the phone. There are little phone calls that I have to make, and put them off for days due to my phone phobia. Let's just say, those who know me and my like of saving money, know it is bad when not even that will get me to make the call.
Charlie and I start water babies next week, well hopefully. The original class was cancelled and now we are bumped into another one but there aren't enough people registered yet so not sure it will happen. Our Fit for 2 fitness class was cancelled so there is another X for this town. Oh ya, and a huge X, went to get the new blizzard of the month, the salted caramel truffle, and they were sold out...wtf? How can you be sold out of the blizzard flavour I want. Everyone knows how I love me some DQ so this was a huge blow....okay, maybe not that bad but still. I have been doing some baking, nothing out of the norm but I still love doing it and love to cook. Who has some new recipes for me eh?
Blah blah blah eh? Could I be anymore of a complainer? Meh, bare with me on this journey as I know things will get better and new adventures will begin.
That's it, that's all....until next time I will bid you adieu. I will try to write again sooner and let you know what is happening in the ever changing army world of the de Volders.
